It’s been some time since I’ve added a personal perspective with so much research, news and other things taking up our time. Completing my book has also kept me from sharing those personal perspectives. Today I thought instead of bad news, some thoughts on watching some of my loved ones recover was in order.
Our country, state, community and families can relate that recovery in the word itself is absolutely amazing to watch, particular in someone we love. In the last couple of years, I’ve seen it in some of those that I love and others. I look at my son at this point and can now have the most incredible conversations that once again highlight his intelligence, character and generous, caring nature. I am in awe of this person.
Some might wonder how I can be proud of and in such awe of this young man who is where he is. That’s ok, that’s for them to wonder. What they don’t see is the struggle to climb out, they don’t see that this has truly been the only way for him. While it is absolutely heartbreaking, it has worked. The time, well if you read any of my thoughts, we know how inappropriate that is. But we are working through it.
Those that have paid attention know that in just this instance, twenty-eight others are in the same position as he is. Thinking about the childhood friends who have gone with him, I can personally see some types of trauma that formed the choices for many of those.
To the bystander, they are just paying the price for their choices. True, but how did they come to those choices? Most don’t care. Many judge the rest of their lives based on that. Will it be hard when they finally come home? Of course it will, harder even than what they are going through now. Because there are very few people who would now take a chance on them. Who see the beauty of a clear mind finally understanding the impact of how many of them chose to cope.
We all cope in different ways, whether we bury ourselves in work, food, exercise, alcohol or drugs. It is a coping mechanism. Why? Because this world is hard, and it is not fair, terrible things happen every single day. Sometimes the things we need in order to heal from terrible things are also the things that cause society to judge and discard people.
I think we can do better. I try every day to do better than that. I can’t explain to you the time I was with my daughter and my son called and talked to her. I heard her beautiful laughter as she talked with her brother and she said, “God, I’ve missed you.” Even thinking of that brings tears to my eyes. Not because he is not here and she misses him, but she said, she’s missed him. Missed who he is and their beautiful relationship. And he was back, even hundreds of miles away.
“I’ve missed him too.”